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Entry 329 posted in: a. ArianeB, e. Adult Oriented Games

Porn for women While my LA girl is scrutinizing the latest Ikea catalogue I have been messing around with a witty point'n click Flash game called Horny Afternoon. I'm not really ashamed to admit that, Ikea is pornography for women anyway, so I can have my share of the pie as well, just don't tell the misses...

Erotic inspired computer games have been around since, well since the computer was invented, I guess. Probably I was first confronted with it during my Amstrad CPC days when we all liked to play Samantha Fox Strip Poker. It hat tatty graphics, a tatty soundtrack and the lady herself has never been one of my favourites anyway, but the mere fact that you could actually watch some pixelated boobs made us lust for it like a water buffalo yearns for a mudbath.

I still have a soft spot (?!) for the original Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards.

Sure we got lubbers.
What kind lubber you want? Smooth or libbed?
Coloured or plain?
Lubricated or rough-cut?
Striped or plaid?
Peppermint or spearmint flavour?
Hey everybody, this weirdo just bought a spearmint flavoured, plaid, rough-cut, coloured, smooth lubber!!!

Later on Larry would perform in several sequels including The Laffer Utilities that contained a database of the raunchiest jokes ever (the blonde who peed in a canoe is my all time favourite) and that promised the buyer to ‘provide you with non productive pastimes that make you look busy when you're doing absolutely nothing worthwhile'.

Eroticism seems to be an old fashioned word now; coming from the days that gay still meant 'keenly alive and exuberant'. Here is a fine example of the clash between the old and new culture.

Mr. Rumbold: Let's try to keep it light and gay.
Mr. Lucas: [to Mr. Humphries] I'll handle the 'light' part.

Erotic pictures and movies nowadays only seem to be made to please the amateur gynaecologist amongst us. Gone are the days you could have actual dialogue in an x-rated movie:

If you listen,
if you concentrate and listen,
I close my eyes,
I pretend I'm asleep,
you must sit very still,
pretend you're asleep,
then he comes out.

What comes out is not what one expects to come out... the scene is set in a Tartaros prison cell were a lost soul is eternally trying to kill a fly. His cellmate, Ms. Jones, who can only find salvation in sex, is confronted for eternity with a man who isn't at all interested in her. Put this awkward scene in a Pier Paolo Pasolini or a Federico Fellini art movie and we would have spoken of a classic.

Fast forward to the 21st century.

I like Shark's Lagoon games; they're witty, funny and sexually overt without being smutty (or at least, not too much). Shark's recent work is getting better and better, technically and creatively, although his latest creation, Horny Afternoon, has neglected the game side a bit and is more an interactive movie than a puzzle game.

His best creations, in my opinion, are the rather difficult 'A Late Night At The Office' and 'Don't Wake Her'. Shark has recently teamed up with HornyGamer, a simple glance at the links on that website show you that Shark's creations are well above average, avoiding the average smut the other (often Hentai) games show.

Probably the best dating game ever is not Flash based, but has been fabricated out of pure html and Javascript. It is called ArianeB (actually: Virtually Date Ariane) and it contains over 670 situations. I strongly suggest downloading the package, as the server is often overloaded. It can be a very frustrating experience indeed when you finally have found the way to get ArianeB out of her knickers and only get rewarded with a 404 error. As there are quite a few scenarios playability isn't limited to one go as well.

Catch me in a few days when I will put some ArianeB walkthroughs on this spot. First my hormones have to settle down a bit.

If you liked this post - you might be interested in this one as well: ArianeB 5.50 final and finally!